Pain

TW: this poem is about sexual assault

Pain

It’s hard to live with when nothing’s working

Dissociation and brain fog

Lack of memory and ability of thought

All gone

Good memories are hard to come by

Hard to remember

When your brain replays

Every thought that went through your mind

When you let it happen

When you were used

When you couldn’t escape

When you couldn’t refuse

Cause he’d do it anyway

With or without your permission

Even when you told him to stop

He wouldn’t stop

Pain.

When you realized it was over

And then it wasn’t 

It happened again

Over and over

Again 

Back there now

In that life

When you died

And finally realized

There was never any hope.

You were to die

In that moment

To be killed or kill yourself

For you had sealed you fate

When you accepted his help,

You’re gonna die.

You are dying.

And you are absolutely powerless to do anything about it.

Die.

Die or you will not survive.

-- BlackFox