I Will Never Forgive You

TW: allusion to SA

I will never forgive you 

For what you’ve done to me

Because no matter what I say when I’m sober 

I will always be screaming

Inside my mind is captive by the hole you left when you first decided to defile me. 

My body hurts with every touch that reminds me that you were there

Every whiff I get of you makes me turn around in awareness of danger

Even if you’re not really there

The body remembers 

What the mind doesn’t dare

To file in its memory

When you were there saying remember me with every touch and breathe you dismembered me

Undoing every essence of respect I had for myself you disassembled me

Every sense of my identity erased when you placed your hands where they shouldn’t be.

I wish I didn’t remember you. In any way.

Because those memories conflict with the human I once saw in you. Before and after. 

It was like you were two different people

But you both hated me

The essence of you will forever be imprinted on my body

Because any person I will get close to

Will always have to jump through hoops to prove

That they are not you. 

I will never forgive you

As long as my body repulses from what you put me through

- BlackFox