Drunk for Me

written Mar. 23, 2020

(Disclaimer: this poem is about drinking and is much longer than most because it was created soon after the situation occurred with more thought and emotion present in the matter)

Why am I the reason,

That they are drunk?

It’s happened before,

And it really fuckin stunk.

It’s always hard,

It’s always hard to know,

That you’re the reason

That your friend has gotten so low.

You fucked him up,

Now you deal with the pain.

Of seeing him

And all the cans he’s going to drain.

Up now, downed a lot.

Up to eight or nine.

Started to slur his words,

That’s surely not a good sign.

He’s at that numb point now,

Where you don’t feel anything.

He tells you sorry for not being good enough,

And then it really starts to sting.

He continues to drink,

Until there’s nothing left.

You stole what you didn’t mean to,

Oh what a shitty theft.

What is wrong with you?

Why have you done this?

Making ME feel guilty

Cause YOU jumped in the abyss.

I never asked you to jump,

To walk into the pit.

That was ALL YOU

And it was pretty stupid I have to admit.

WHY would you do this to me?

It’s just not fair.

It shouldn’t be my job,

To focus on your repair.

I have a life too.

This you should know.

Plus my time to you

Isn’t something I should owe.

So stop with the tears.

I won’t call again.

Things won’t continue

As they first have been.

I’ll no longer respond,

So don’t even try,

And I hope now,

That others will qualify.

To bear your weight,

To hold your baggage,

To be there for you,

And save you from further damage.

You don’t need me.

I’ll make you see.

I’ll be free,

And you’ll live on happily.

After enough time I hope,

You’ll forget I ever existed.

You'll start to live your life,

And wonder why you ever resisted.

Maybe it’ll happen,

Or maybe it won’t.

Even so, if you ever think of coming back to me,

DON’T.

I won’t help you,

I never really did.

I only ever talked,

To that shy, white kid.

I made you dependent on me

And that really wasn’t good.

You thought it was fine but it wasn’t,

Not from where I stood.

Yes I got your attention,

But at what fucking cost?

I may have “helped” you,

But my life was getting lost.

I had to choose,

And I chose my well-being.

And let me just say,

It felt quite freeing.

So please stop crying,

And stop the drinking,

Cause this is one decision,

That I will not be rethinking.

-- BlackFox